I'm Back and Kicking !

I read

Mon excès de gratitude a eu raison de mon enthousiasme. Ce phénomène est connu des psychologues: à trop remercier, on finit par se sentir redevable.

Gratitude, Attitude, David Hochman, Sélection Déc. 2010

I translate as: 

My excess of gratitude killed my enthusiasm. The phenomena is known by psychologists as: by thanking too much, we end up feeling beholden.

... therefore I think!

I am BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK !

and thank you! thank you ! thank you!

OK I said it. So many people have asked me when I would be back online.

I have to say that I have gone through a drought: mentally, psychologically and physically.

It was like if I felt obligated to write, that I was owing it to you all. Suddenly, no joy and what had to happen, happened. NO, absolutely, no imagination. I was trying but as soon as I would get to the blank page: nothing.

I am not sure what has really happened, but after the earthquake in Japan I felt drained, totally empty.

It's like a part of me drowned in the Tsunami, to a certain extend guilt??? I know it does not really make sense but that's how I felt for a while. Maybe one explanation is that I was there 2 weeks before and not all that far from there, less than 250km. Suddenly you know that your life has a finality, an end and that when your time comes there is not much you can do about it.

So after a while, I did not know if I wanted to continue. I ended up posting that I was coming today ... but nothing was coming at all until ... do not ask me what I am not sure, but I think it was Friday night driving back from JLau ... I had a real great time. Lots of talking. Introspection, you know girls' talk ??? Well, sometimes more than a pair of shoes comes out of it. 

The next morning, I called my mom to tell her that I love her (I do it often, but that morning it was different). I cooked for my friend SC and her family and worked outside on my property. That night, I knew what to write about. I remembered what JJP had told me the week before, write about what you like and have fun doing it.

Isn't great? a great concept no? Do what you like !

Me me me me me ! 

Sometimes being selfish is not selfish.