Parked? Where?

 I read

A care home nurse stuffed a plastic apron into a 99-year-old woman's mouth as punishment for being noisy at lunch time, a hearing was told.

Anne Fisk ordered the vulnerable pensioner to 'shut up' after screwing up the disposable apron into a ball and forcing it into her mouth, it is claimed.

The Nursing and Midwifery Council heard that Fisk force-fed another 91-year-old patient who had trouble swallowing her food.

Fisk allegedly left the frail pensioner sobbing when she forced several mouthfuls of meat into her mouth.

... 

But Fisk still gave her several spoons of food, which she then regurgitated before being admonished by the nurse, the hearing was told. The resident has since died.

Care hoe policy was that nurses and care staff were not allowed to make residents eat against their own wishes.

Fisk was suspended after the allegations came to light and later sacked, the committee was told.

Daily Mail UK

... therefore, I think!

One day, I came to realize that I was not afraid of heights, but in fact I was afraid of falling ... I can climb, climb, climb ... and suddenly I choke and cannot move. It can happen anytime without any warning. 

Standing facing Half Dome

For example, one day I was in Yosemite on top of North Dome facing Half Dome. I was looking at what was in front of me and could not believe what I was seeing; it was so beautiful. I could see down in  the valley, water falls, trees ... and I was so high. At that moment, I was really on top of the world, my world. It was such a nice day. 

I took a short walk, I the edge of a cliff of the mountain where it would be so easy to lose foot and fall, fall, fall ... but nothing happened. I was NOT afraid at all. Of course I was careful to not slip but never it came to mind that it was high and that I should be afraid. At that moment, I thought WOW! I do not have that stupid fear of height any more ! Yippie!

That's not the point ... but the view is no nice
I wanted to share.

So after 2 nights in the middle of nowhere camping on rocks, we came down in the valley. The following day, we were meeting a friend of ours and decided to go for an "easy" walk in the wood. So hop we go. 

My favorite camping spot !

We had been walking for few hours and were on our way back to the car ... about 500m walk, cross a river and 150m and we were there. So we arrive at the river and start crossing on a large tree trunk (and when I say large, it was not a little one ... almost as 45cm wide) about 30 cm above the river ... in fact, it was more a little stream, maybe 30-60cm deep. 

I am the second to go ... I arrive at mid-point, look in front of me, almost there; I look back, our friend is ready to to start crossing ... and now I look down ... MISTAKE ... I saw the the water moving (normal it is a freaking river ...) in a flash, I could no longer move. It was not rational at all. I was afraid to fall and drown ... I look ahead, my boyfriend is telling me to move, I look back at our friend, he is waiting that I move to start crossing. My feet are refusing to move.

In my head, it is so not logical but I did not know what to do anymore. By now, more people are waiting for me to move, my boyfriend is getting impatient, people are wondering what is happening, and I am still in the middle of the river, not moving but now crying. 

Eventually, someone thought of telling me to sit down ... the panic kinda diminished and I was able to cross ... sitting down, inch by inch ... but I made it.

So by now, you are wondering what's the link ??? Well, Missy, the cat of one of my friends, was dying. She was just, old. She did not seem to be suffering but she was no longer eating. She had to be fed with a syringe. My friend was trying as much as she can to make her last days as comfortable as possible ... and when that happens, we cannot but think of our family, our friends, and ourselves ... eventually us going through that phase of life ... which is dying.

But Yosemite had thought me something. As I told you last week, things are not always as they seem. 

Are you afraid of dying? I am not. In fact, I am no longer I should say because few years back I've realized that like height and falling, I was not afraid of dying but to be old in diapers, parked in a wheelchair in front of a window waiting to die and be fed with a syringe.